It's None of My Business

As a kid I only said 'It's none of your business' at home. Actually, I probably said 'Mind your own beeswax', which seemed more poetic for a spoiled little girl to scream at her big brothers. But when I left for university I left Barbie, my ballerina jewelry box and 'it's none of your business' behind.

As an adult in Italy the phrase has come back to haunt me in a different form. Instead of someone angrily saying, 'it's none of your business', they kindly say, 'it's none of my business' and quickly go back to talking about how many mushrooms they found last weekend.

It seems other people's business is our business only when they're not around. 'It's none of my business' is usually said behind the back of the one whose business it is. We spend hours spewing details and opinions when the involved party isn't involved. It's like having a great brainstorming session and leaving the animated discussions, brilliant solutions and elevated emotions on the table in the conference room; all for naught.

I have the impression people think saying 'it's none of my business' is polite, but to me it sounds like they're just not interested. They pay for advice from professionals on where to spend their holidays, which of the 50 shades of grey will look the best in their livingrooms and the essentials for a healthy diet (in case fruit and vegetables are no longer the base of the food pyramid). But they refuse to exchange free advice with the people they know best.   

Personally, I like it when my business becomes someone else's. That's when I understand that someone cares (at least a little). 'It's none of my business' should be said with a smile and followed by, 'but I'm available if you need me'. That's known as friendship and it might be one of the best business deals you'll ever make.