Peace Be With Me

I'm tired of living in this unfortunate place called No Man's Lang. That's not a typo. In addition to lang being a word few know the meaning of in America's favorite New Year's  song, it's also the abbreviation of language when followed by a period.  

In No Man's Lang. neither my English (mother tongue) nor my Italian (second language) serve me well. According to me, residents of No Man's Lang. are unable to fully and freely express themselves in their current digs. With last week's American visitors I noticed that I didn't have to try at all. Communicating and understanding joy, pain and anger was effortless. In fact, the sensation of complete calm and comprehension reminded me my 'not so new' home away from home has left me feeling anywhere but at home.

With Italians, describing anything deeper than last night's thin, easily digestible pizza crust leaves the real me somewhat speechless. My Italian isn't good enough to speak off the cuff, so deeper thoughts are stifled. And if there's a chance to open up in English, my very-good-but-still-non-native-listeners can't digest what comes from my gut, so thoughts are swallowed. Depending on my audience, I either can't speak Italian well or I'm not allowed to speak English well, leaving my normal expressive self in silence in the heart of No Man's Lang.

I'm a word nerd. I love puns and Scrabble and red pens. I used to underline passages in great books to share with other nerds, but now I savor them for myself. I seldom have witty comebacks on the running path or at the weekly market. There's no bragging about exceptional Wordle wins or discovering new authors at the bookstore. In Italy my Christmas cards are pretty, but the messages mean nothing. I've learned that soap boxes have little room for non-native speakers and Melania's speech to the United States Marine CORPSE is proof.

It looks like the only solution is to live in limbo in No Man's Lang. Peace be with me while I wait for the arrival of my next American visitors. Until then, here's to auld lang syne.