The Garlic is Free

I seldom venture far from a Pizza Margherita (cheese pizza), but the other night at the take-out place I ordered a Pizza Marinara.  That's a pizza with tomato sauce, garlic and oregano.  It cost 3euro50.  At the last minute I decided I couldn't live without cheese so I added mozzarella di bufala.  That's fancy mozzarella.  It's usually on the extras list where you find prices for stuff like an extra-large pizza, an extra-small pizza (called a baby pizza for the real babies that can't eat a normal-sized pizza) and extra toppings.  The addition of mozarella di bufala was 1euro.  When I got the receipt I noticed that my pizza cost 6euro.  The receipt only lists the prices and not the kind of pizza you've ordered, so you never really know what you're being charged for.

Just to be safe, I went back to the counter to see if she'd understood my order.  (When you make a big move like straying from a normal cheese pizza, you want it done right.)  In situations like this I still apologize and say that it's probably my fault because my Italian isn't perfect.  I repeated my order, "A Pizza Marinara with the addition of mozzarella di bufala."  She said that she'd understood and that the garlic was free.  Still confused, I repeated my order again and said that my receipt said 6euro but it should have only been 4euro50.   That's when she said she'd charged me for a Mozzarella di Bufala instead of a Marinara, and then added garlic which she happily repeated was free.  She'd chosen to charge me for a more expensive pizza and throw in the garlic instead of for the pizza I'd ordered and charge me for the cheese.  I probably would've caused a scene in the States, but life in Italy has few rules so you seldom win.  I let her keep my 1euro50 and tried to enjoy my fancy cheese.

Keeping my cool with public services is a different story.  How about the bus that came 7 minutes early?  I'm used to running for buses and trains because I'm always late, but should I have to run when I'm early, too?  I got on and asked the driver, "For future reference, is this bus always early?"  He said, "Oh, am I early?  What time am I supposed to be here?  I'll pull over now and wait."  He seemed proud of himself for responding to the public's needs.  After a three-minute pause he started up again.  Apparently arriving at the rest of the stops four minutes early is acceptable.

And the post office?  I don't think I'm the only one who has left in tears. Having sent birthday cards to America for 2euro in October, I was shocked in December when the clerk said 100 stamps would cost 400euro.  I told him I was sure there was a mistake because I'd paid half that price only two months earlier.  He said, "This is life in Italy."  Not ready to spend 400euro to mail my Christmas cards, I started to cry and left.

I decided to research the cost of mailing a letter to the States from neighboring countries.  I thought 300euro might get me a weekend in Austria and I'd spend the extra 100 on Austrian stamps.  I checked Greece and Slovenia, too.  Maybe sending Christmas cards could become an adventure.  Then, during my research, I learned that the current price of an Italian stamp for a card to the States was 2euro30.  An increase of 30 cents in two months was acceptable (and very Italian).  I was sure I couldn't get a trip to Greece AND 100 stamps for 230euro, so I went back to the post office a few days later.

After a 37-minute wait, the same handsome clerk was all mine.  I told him that I'd done my research and as much as I'd liked the idea of a 400-euro weekend in Slovenia just to mail my Christmas cards, it seemed a bit more practical to buy them from him for the correct sum of 230euro.  He continued trying to convince me that the stamps cost 4euro.  He even turned his computer screen my direction to show me the calculation.  Then he slowly and quietly turned it back.  "Oh.  I get it now, " he said.  "The last time you were here I was still on the screen of the packages you'd mailed before you asked me for the stamps.  I'd given you the small package price of 4euro instead of the stamp price of 2euro30.  How many do you want?  A hundred?"

Had there been an apology or a thank goodness you double checked or a please forgive me, it would've been easier to accept.  But when someone thinks they've done nothing wrong by accidently asking me to pay an extra 170euro and there's not even fancy cheese on top, I go postal.

Welcome to Italy where even the people who speak the language perfectly have a hard time saying they've made a mistake.