Imagine how hard it is to describe a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup to an Italian. First of all, many think peanut butter is butter with peanuts mixed in. Some peanut lovers even asked if it could be substituted for regular butter in a recipe. Then you have to explain the tiny little chocolate cup with the ridge marks from the wrapper.....like a cupcake wrapper. But that doesn't work because few know what a cupcake is. In the end I just had to wait for my next American visitor, because as hard and as often as I look, there are some things I still haven't found in Italy.
I'm lucky to have enough visitors to be treated to some of my old favorites from time to time. And what doesn't make it in a suitcase with a friend is often sent the old-fashioned way. Nestle's Chocolate Chips, Libby's 100% Pure Pumpkin, Campbell's Cream of Mushroom Soup (not for the soup, for the magic ingredient in green bean casserole) and Heath Bars have all safely crossed the border.
The only thing that was confiscated at the airport was Girard's Champagne Salad Dressing. Who's really going to remember they've got salad dressing in their suitcase when they do the final mental-liquids-double-check before jumping in the taxi? Do I have the right size toothpaste, is my deodorant solid, where's the sunscreen and do I have too many tubes of lipgloss are the standard questions we ask ourselves. But remembering where you've packed the salad dressing isn't on everyone's normal list. What a pity.
Fortunately, it didn't take long to realize that when there's a gap between visitors there's hope that American Days at Lidl won't be far off. Lidl is a discount grocery store. I learned about it when I was told I couldn't shop at the grocery store for the nearby American military base which is reserved for members of the military. I never wanted to be a member of Sam's Club or Costco, but I wouldn't refuse a membership card to the military grocery store if Uncle Sam offered me one.
American Days lasts one week. The flyer is covered with the American flag and says, "Scopri il Sogno Americano"--Discover the American Dream. All of the items are packaged in red, white and blue and all of the products are the brand "MCENNEDY. AMERICAN WAY.' It seems to me like a slaughtering of McKennedy, which would really be the Irish Way, wouldn't it? Or maybe I've just never heard of the American McEnnedy clan. Anyway, as long as they keep producing BBQ Marsh Mallows, I won't complain.
They also make BBQ Sauce Whisky, BBQ Spare Ribs, BBQ Salad Dressing and BBQ Cruspies (peanuts with some kind of breaded shell that also come Sour Cream Flavoured and Hamburger Style and are actually very good). The truth is the BBQ Marsh Mallows are just regular old marshmallows. I can picture the marketing team sitting around the table designing the bag when someone interjects that Americans cook them on a fire. Voila! BBQ Marsh Mallows.
You can find "Cheese For Burgers" which is sliced gouda and "Jelly Extra" which comes in cranberry and blueberry (isn't grape America's best seller?). The American Style Snack Box has Chilli Cheese Nuggets and Chilli Dip (they sound Mexican to me), Mozarella Sticks (American mozzarella?) and Onion Rings. There's a "pre-baked" baked potato in a box with quark cheese, which I learned after checking is a common cheese in Germany, Poland, Austria, Switzerland and several other European countries but not very common in the U.S.
I'm still trying to figure out what Sandwich Sauce and Hamburger Sauce are. I don't think either have ever made it on the list of condiment choices at Big Boy, but according to the Mcennedys, they're American.
I"ll probably never try the Spicy Pepperoni frozen pizza. I wonder how many Italians have stocked up on those during American Days? Keep in mind, these are grocery stores in small towns all over Italy. The Mcennedy American Way products aren't stocked to delight the random American passing through. The products are there for Italians to get a little taste of America.
We all know a pepperoni pizza is the most popular pizza in America, right? The only problem is, if you order a pepperoni pizza in Italy you get a pizza with red and yellow peppers. And if you want the kind of pepperoni pizza you're used to eating in America you have to order a pizza diavola (devil pizza).....that's a pizza with spicy salami.
If reading this has whet your appetite, I think you can find Lidl in the States. If you're lucky, maybe it will be the week of Italian Days and you can get a taste of La Dolce Vita. They'll probably carry Pasta Alfredo, Vodka Sauce and a nice grated parmesan/olive oil mix for dipping your bread--a few things my Italian friends have never heard of.
P.S. There are no spelling mistakes in this piece. According to the Mcennedys, Chilli is spelled with a double l, Cruspie shouldn't be Crispy and Marsh Mallows is two words.
