It's about the coffee, not the talk

I remember two things about my childhood house; the address (15 Dean Street) and ladies coming over for coffee. They used to sit in the kitchen with my mom and I imagine they talked about stuff like curlers and tv trays. If the company (we didn't say guests in West Michigan) wanted tea or 'pop' instead of coffee, it made no difference. The morning was meant for slow sips and refills .  

Last week a ski lift operator invited me to grab coffee on his break and I told him I didn't drink coffee. He said that's not what he meant and I knew that's not what he meant, but the truth is, if you accept an invitation for un caffe' (an espresso everywhere else in the world) you can only drink un caffe'. Consuming anything else takes too long.  

Grabbing a (tiny) cup of coffee in Italy is all about the coffee and not at all about the talk. Of course we have real coffee dates, too; the ones where you actually take off your coat and nurse a cappuccino or (like me) an extra hot milk with cocoa. I never say no to those invites. It's the drink-a-cup-of-coffee-in-20-seconds-invitations that I feel I must decline.

I've asked my adult students what I can order and they had lots of answers; hot tea (which means they didn't understand the question), cold tea (ditto), hot chocolate (much more expensive than the coffee I was invited for) and orzo (soluble barley that's defintely not my cup of tea).  

I'm starting to think that the only thing you can throw back with the same passion and speed as an Italian coffee is a shot of grappa. Must I choose the lesser of two evils? Or will the askers accept leading me to water without forcing me to drink?